Attention all ye who are squeamish and easily disgusted, turn your heads for i am about to tell a tale I entitled: “The Ugliest Wart.”
A few weeks after London, I noticed a bump on my right thumb just below my nail. I didn’t think much of it, probably a callous, I wore gloves a lot in London so maybe I rubbed my fingers together a lot without realizing it. And that friction caused a callous. All was fine until one day I started to pick at it. (Confession: I am the Worst when it comes to nails, and things on my hands. I’m a picker.) So. Pick pick pick. A few days passed and the callous thing grew back. Pick pick pick. Disappear. Reappear. But bigger. Repeat repeat. Strange, I thought, callouses don’t grow back. A little Google searching later and I realized it was a wart.
Ugh. Gross. A big nasty wart..
And of course all the websites said “the worst thing you can do is try to pick or peel the wort off.” Cool Marlie. Great start.
So I bought some Bandaids and pretended the thing didn’t exist. Bandaids make everything go away, right? Wrong. Next I tried duct tape, but I ended up just picking at the tape until it fell off and it didn’t seem to make a difference anyways.
So I finally got some wart remover and I’ve been using that this last week.
1. It’ll take months for this thing to be completely gone. Months. I want it off now!!!
2. I feel like things only got worse when I tried to make it better.
3. I’m trusting this to work even though I don’t understand everything.
Healing takes time. Healing is messy. Whether it’s a wart on your thumb, or on your heart. You can ignore your problems, your brokenness. You can add to them by taking things into your own hands by picking at it. Or you can trust that there is a lot more going on inside of you and around you than what you see with your own eyes.
It’s a process. A layer by layer process. the gross dead skin cells on my wart are being removed by the wart remover, and new skin cells are replacing it. Just like Christ is in us, working in the messiest most broken part of us and taking what is dead and bring it to life.
Do not lose hope. You may feel like more of a mess than when you started this whole christian walk. You may feel vulnerable and out of control like a patient lying on a surgery table with their chest opened. But trust the process. Better yet, trust the Healer. He is binding up your wounds, and making You new day by day. He loves you, even with that ugly wort on your thumb.