Candy Crushed

I told myself I wouldn’t do it, but I did. There was no way that I’d get into that, but weeks later, I’m neck-deep. Truth is, I need help.

I’m a Candy Crush Addict.

The bright colors, and realistic looking candy and catchy music got me hooked.There are adorable smiling characters cheering you on as you journey through levels that resemble the 90’s board game “Candy Land.” I reached level 35 recently, and I was stoked. Finally got out of lemonade lake or whatever.  However, I recently found out that there are hundreds levels. HUNDREDS. You mean…I’ll never win? Yet the fact that there is no “winning” hasn’t stopped me from spending hours a week playing this game. Why? Why even try? Well, It’s those short bursts of happiness I get after winning. They are rather addicting. I spend weeks on a level and I finally win. But do I really win if another level is just thrown at my face to taunt me for another few weeks?  It’s like i’m trapped in a cycle I can’t get out of. No matter how frustrated or upset I get at a level, I keep playing. I play during meals, meetings, when I’m with friends. It’s consuming my life.  In the end it’s all just mindless fun, a to way pass time, right? And it’s okay because everyone else is doing it, too, right?  And in the end, if I decide to, I can just delete the app from my phone.

If only it was that easy in life. We all get stuck in cycles of sin; whether it’s addiction or just a never ending search for that new thing that will satisfy you. The hole in your heart can not be filled with a new car, that new boyfriend, or by being the most popular kid in school. These things aren’t inherently bad, but they can become bad if you become consumed by one of these things, obsessing over it…I remember telling myself “If I could just pass this level…then i’ll be happy.” false. Sure I was happy for a bit, but then it wore off. Same with when I try and find my satisfaction in new stuff or pleasing people.  I got a new phone and it’s great  but I still want more. I make someone happy, and that makes me happy but they’ll be upset again later. Everything under the sun is meaningless,  stuff breaks and you can’t please everyone.

Addiction is a very real problem. Drinking, drugs, cutting, pornography. It’s a very dark world full of sin that consumes and takes over people’s lives. We use justification and comparison as defense mechanisms. I saw a facebook status from someone that said in a nutshell “I’m sure glad I never got addicted to candy crush. Those people waste a lot of time playing it.” To me it read “gosh, I’m so glad I’m better than all those candy crush addicts…i don’t waste any time with my life because I don’t play candy crush.” and it really rubbed me the wrong way. Whether you play candy crush or bubble breaker or Call of duty, wasting time=wasting time. And it reminded me of how judgemental us Christians can be. No matter how we sin, internal or external, doesn’t make a bit of difference to God. Sin is sin. Jesus called out the pharisees for being more concerned with their outwardly cleanliness than  what was on the inside. “I’m so glad I’m not like others, I don’t get drunk, have sex or steal things.” Riiiight. You might not, but you got sin…pride…, internal sins.  Let’s all stop pretending like we have it all together,and are perfect  little Christians.

Wake up. Break the cycle of addiction, the endless quest for satisfaction in earthly things. It might not be as easy as deleting an app, but it’s worth it.

Take a listen to  Awake my Soul by Mumford and Sons.

Do-nut even remind me.

I ate ants today.
Now before you judge me too harshly, let me explain.

I was rushed to get to class (as always) because I press snooze too many times (as always) so I didn’t have time to make breakfast. No big deal. I grabbed a bag of mini chocolate donuts I had bought a few days ago and brought it to class with me. I continued my journey to better health by putting aspartane in my system with a nice refreshing Diet Coke from the vending machine.  I got to class and started to munch away as my professor went about lecturing on statistics. Four or five donuts later (they are small), I noticed a little tiny sugar ant crawling across my desk. Followed by another one in my binder.  followed by three or four. my friend, noticing my concern, looked in the bag of donuts and said: “Marlie…umm..they’re in the bag…marlie there are ants in the donuts.” A rather large lump developed in my throat and I excused myself from class. Whether or not I actually consumed ants, I don’t know.  And frankly, I don’t want to know.

But there is something I want you to know. A very true and gross  story aside, I learned something today.

I saw chocolate donuts. I wanted them and grabbed them. Sometimes in life we want things; a relationship, a job, scholarship at that dream university. we see them as golden opportunities, things we must have. But what if there are ants that we are unaware of? And when we spend weeks on end, in tears while we beg and plead God to give us what we want, God looks down and sees the ants of the situation that we can’t see. We see a new job or dating this person or that person as a delicious chocolate donut, something we want. God (all-knowing) sees the ants that we can’t see and wants to steer us away from a potentially bad experience.

I would have loved for someone to had known about those ants before I had eaten four or five of those donuts. Would have saved me a lot of nausea, panic and just utter disgust. If you really want something, pray that God will reveal any ants in the situation and that the desires of His heart will become the desire of yours.